so these past two weeks have been really really awesome and really not.

Mostly really awesome but just with a twinge of bad. On the brightest of sides, I toured part of the country with my mom; we went from Nevada to visit California, then took off from Nevada on Tuesday and between then and today went through Utah, Colorado *swooooon*, Kansas, Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, and back to Michigan. My parents are moving back to Michigan, but my mom’s moving first so we drove her truck up here and just got back this afternoon. It was amazing. On the downside, the reason we hauled ass to get back to Michigan is because my paternal grandma (my maternal grandparents are both deceased) is basically dying, to be very blunt about it. She’s been having difficulty breathing and is declining in health. A few days ago she was sent home with hospice care. This means that we have days, weeks, maybe months left and it’s just a very scary time. So while I had a great time with my mom, my grandma’s health has been looming over us like a shadow. I’m also scared that if my grandma goes, my grandpa won’t last very long at all without her. It’s gonna be a rough couple weeks/months but at least I have great memories from this last two weeks to help it.

I love my mom and my sister.

But dear god, when they get together I am such an outcast. There they are with their girly bullshit and romantic comedies and I’m just sitting over here like

this is how I know my mom cares even from across the country.

She gave me her credit card info so I could buy myself pizza online because she’s not here and I’m sick. 

since I literally live just down the street from the library,

I think I’m going to go pay it a long overdue visit. Sure, I own plenty of my own books that I have yet to read but I’m really craving to read something from a new author. Any suggestions?

I’m a huge sci-fi/fantasy/horror/adventure reader.

Also, I’m taking my baby brother out to Mongo’s tomorrow as an early birthday dinner just between me and him because…well, because I can. (: I work 6 days a week and he’s only visiting Michigan for a few more weeks before he’s leaving again and after that I won’t see him til December probably so I wanna make time for him. <3

little brother

My little brother is growing up so fast, I can’t believe that he’s just a few short weeks away from being thirteen. My parents are normally pretty overprotective, so when he asked if he could walk around with just his friends on the Fourth of July at our city’s carnival, I didn’t know if they would let him (he lives in Nevada with him and is visiting up here staying with me and my grandparents). I managed to work things out though by volunteering to walk around at the carnival while he and his friends went off and did whatever they wanted and offered to check in on him and make sure he was ok and boy did his eyes just light up when he found out that my parents said it was ok. (: I think he was a little surprised that I spoke up for him and was offering to spend the day by myself while he was with his friends, but that smile on his face made it completely worth it. I love my little brother to death and I swear if anyone gives him trouble there it will be the last thing they do. I still picture him as a baby so thinking of him running around on his own is crazy for me but I guess I’ve gotta let him grow up and he’s such a great kid. I’m so glad he got to come up here for the month and visit because I really missed him. :’)

I’m jealous of

people and their relationships with their parents. I’ve tried time and time again to form bonds with my parents, but we really just don’t click. We try to talk and try to relate but my mom doesn’t accept my lifestyle deep down and does a bad job trying to hide it and there’s so much tension between me and my dad still that it’s hard to communicate with him. I’m jealous of parents who are accepting and who don’t obviously choose favorites among their kids.  If you have parents who love you for everything you are and do, you are lucky and I am jealous of you.

tomorrow at 5:30 pm local time I’ll be back in Nevada to visit my mommy.

She can be my worst enemy at times, but I love her and I’m super excited to see her. (:

it’s my last day in Nevada with my parents

and although I am going to miss them, I’m ready to go back to Michigan.  I miss working and I miss my friends and, quite frankly, I don’t like laying around the house with nothing to do because my parents are at work and my brother’s at school.  I know my dad’s working on a big case for his law firm and obviously my brother has to go to school, but my mom’s been going to every single random ass meeting and what not that she had planned that aren’t work-related.  Come onnn.  I didn’t take a week off work for you to ignore me while I’m here.  Of course it was only when I practically slapped her in the face with the reality that we’ve done barely anything together while I’ve been here that she actually ponied up and asked to spend time together.  What she doesn’t realize is that that is annoying as well.  I’d just like her to want to spend time with me.  For crying out loud, her and my dad both just took off time at work to go fly to fucking Europe and visit my sister while she’s studying abroad but my mom can’t skip one church meeting to hang out with me ON A SATURDAY?  That stuff irritates me.  I mean, my dad who I never really got along with is trying to get out of his case early today when he knows it’s really important just so he can spend time with me before I leave.  Why can’t my mom try that hard?  Whatever, I’ll be back in Michigan in less than 48 hours so it doesn’t matter anyways I guess.

There is nothing more irritating to me than

people who encroach upon my territory.  By ‘territory’, I mean myself, my family, my friends, my belongings, and, possibly most importantly, my Marine.  My heart is taken, so don’t try to hit on me - any attempts will be viewed as absolutely pathetic and offensive to boot.  Do not by ANY means insult my family unless you are prepared to handle the backlash from me.  Don’t fuck with my friends, period.  Ok, messing with my stuff is definitely last on my list as all of that can be replaced.  Lastly, if I make it clear to you to back off my man, it’s in your best interests to do so and to do so quickly.  He’s MINE, not yours.  I’m sick and tired of people getting in the way of my happiness, so I’m going to start shoving them out of my way.