I have a little dilemma and I would appreciate some advice.

One of my exes still keeps in contact with me from time to time and frequently makes comments about us getting back together. Normally I would just chalk this up to me making up in my head but when he says he’ll always love me and ‘if you really love someone it don’t just go away’ it seems pretty clear to me. Now, I politely steered myself out of that conversation because things would never work with him but the problem I have is - do I tell his girlfriend? She’s a royal bitch but part of me still feels like it would be the honorable thing to do to let her know that he wants to see me and still has strong feelings for me…but at the same time…she’s a horrible person. So, to tell or not to tell?

I really need someone to talk to, but I don’t like to bother people with my problems.

Work’s gone all to hell, I just want to see my family, and I just want someone to give a fuck. I’m sure people do, but I never open myself up enough to let them care. Instead, I bury it deep down and eventually it eats away at me until I break down. I recognize my problem, I just don’t know how to solve it.

"Don’t stay angry about anything for more than a week, but don’t
forget what made you angry. Hold your anger out at arm’s length
and look at it, as if it were a glass ball. Then add it to your glass
ball collection."

an excerpt from How To Be Perfect - Ron Padgett

I’m jealous of

people and their relationships with their parents. I’ve tried time and time again to form bonds with my parents, but we really just don’t click. We try to talk and try to relate but my mom doesn’t accept my lifestyle deep down and does a bad job trying to hide it and there’s so much tension between me and my dad still that it’s hard to communicate with him. I’m jealous of parents who are accepting and who don’t obviously choose favorites among their kids.  If you have parents who love you for everything you are and do, you are lucky and I am jealous of you.

it’s my last day in Nevada with my parents

and although I am going to miss them, I’m ready to go back to Michigan.  I miss working and I miss my friends and, quite frankly, I don’t like laying around the house with nothing to do because my parents are at work and my brother’s at school.  I know my dad’s working on a big case for his law firm and obviously my brother has to go to school, but my mom’s been going to every single random ass meeting and what not that she had planned that aren’t work-related.  Come onnn.  I didn’t take a week off work for you to ignore me while I’m here.  Of course it was only when I practically slapped her in the face with the reality that we’ve done barely anything together while I’ve been here that she actually ponied up and asked to spend time together.  What she doesn’t realize is that that is annoying as well.  I’d just like her to want to spend time with me.  For crying out loud, her and my dad both just took off time at work to go fly to fucking Europe and visit my sister while she’s studying abroad but my mom can’t skip one church meeting to hang out with me ON A SATURDAY?  That stuff irritates me.  I mean, my dad who I never really got along with is trying to get out of his case early today when he knows it’s really important just so he can spend time with me before I leave.  Why can’t my mom try that hard?  Whatever, I’ll be back in Michigan in less than 48 hours so it doesn’t matter anyways I guess.

I’m just such a hot mess lately.

I don’t even know how to deal with anything.  So I’m just gonna keep working 8 hour days and slowly killing myself.